


Zuko Potter and the outtakes

by Sanctified_Jasper



Series: Zuko Potter [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2019-10-12 10:45:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17466074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanctified_Jasper/pseuds/Sanctified_Jasper
Summary: Alternative and deleted scenes from the Zuko Potter Series, as well as some straight up crack that was never going to make it into the fic proper.





	1. Under the Hat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secretly, the Sorting Hat is kind of mean - Philosophical Rock: chapter 07

"Hmm... oh my, what a curious thing you are."

"Who are you!?"

"I'm the Sorting Hat, weren't you listening?"

"Stay out of my head!"

"What? Oh don't be silly, I'm not in your head, I'm on it. Don't growl at me I'm trying to read your personality."

"What about my mind?"

"What about your mind?"

"Aren't you going to read that?"

"No why would I?"

"To... sort me?"

"That seemed like a question."

"It may have been."

"Well it doesn't matter anyway I don't read thoughts and memories, you humans have very faulty memory, always changing it to suit your outlook. And you can't trust a human's opinion on themselves, they tend to see themselves one way, when often they are another – biased narrator and all that.

"The structure of a soul on the other hand, now that's something that doesn't lie. It's all right here:

Hmm, not cunning and sneaky so much as stealthy, very simple world views, this or that not much in the way of in-betweens. Which means Slytherin is out.

You're certainly smart – you do have a curiosity and the ability to lose yourself in research – but you're not Ravenclaw smart and you don't thirst for knowledge like it's your whole world. So that's out too.

Hufflepuff maybe? You certainly don't lack in dedication, oh but your loyalty... so very hard won... and your determination is admirable... if somewhat frightening in its intensity...

No... Not Hufflepuff either, you'd break the rest of the house.

Well you certainly have plenty of courage to see things through and to stick to your beliefs even in the face of overwhelming evidence; you do have a strong desire to do what's right...  
Yes... I think I'll put you with the rest of the hot headed fools."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Well go on boy, leave... why are you angry?"

"You just called me slow witted, not very smart and scary; I wonder what I could possibly have to be mad about(!)"


	2. Respect the Scar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko brings up an important point - Philosophical Rock: chapter 09

"I just don't get why every one is so fixated on my scar, it barely a scratch!"

"Harry... you do know why you're famous right?"

"Yes Hermione, I survived a murder attempt by a wizard terrorist. Who murdered my parents."

"Not just that, that scar is the only evidence of the killing curse he tried to use on you. A spell which is forbidden, it kills instantly and without leaving a mark on the body. You can't block it, you can't cure it, you can't stop it, but somehow you survived."

"...This scratch is the only mark made by a spell that leaves no marks... something about that sentence seems wrong..."Although if it was true the scar just got a whole lot less pathetic.


	3. Almost Flying Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko's skillset does not contain Harry's mystical Broom skillz - Philosophical Rock: Chapter 10

"Look!" Said Malfoy, darting forward and snatching something from the grass. "It's that stupid thing Longbottom's gran sent him."

The Rememberall glittered in the sun as he held it up.

"Give that here, Malfoy," said Zuko quietly. Everyone stopped to watch. Malfoy smiled nastily.

"I think I'll leave it somewhere for Longbottom to collect – how about – up a tree?" Malfoy leapt onto his broomstick and took off.

Zuko was filled with the almost overwhelming urge to get on a broom and go after him.

'Uh, Spirits? I get that going after him, on a broom, is something that Harry would probably do... but how good of a flyer is he? How good of a flyer am I? Do I automatically get amazing flying abilities because he had them?'

The urge to fly after Draco left, quickly as it had come, and Zuko knew the answer was 'no.'

Up in the air Malfoy threw the glass sphere, it disappeared into the branches of a tree.

'That's going to suck to find later.'

"Is there a polite way to say: unmitigated wank-arse-douche-faced-bastard?" Hermione asked from beside him.

"Yeah, you pronounce it: Draco Malfoy. … is there a spell for finding or summoning lost items?"

"Erm... I think so, yes." The duo shared a look, and knew what they'd be researching after class.

The class shot nasty looks at Zuko, like they'd expected him to jump to the rescue by perfecting something he'd never even seen done before on his first attempt.

'Didn't see any of you trying to go after him either.'


	4. The many missing magics of Harry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's talk about something hilarious for a second:
> 
> Harry does not use any ON SCREEN Magic (Intentionally) during the first book.  
> Before you tell me I'm wrong: I actually checked. (My copy of the book currently has sticky tabs poking out all over.)
> 
> See the thought process was: how long can I get away with Zuko not doing wizard stuff? Maybe I should see when Harry starts getting heavy with the wizard stuff and use that as a guide line. (cause it's weird, but I don't remember Harry using that many spells during books one.)

And it's because he didn't.

Let me break it down:  
(These are direct mentions of TYPICAL wizarding things, NOT counting the classes he must have taken or Harry specific things like Parsel Tongue (once), The Magic He Knows Not ('Love,' also once) and using the Invisibility Cloak (5 times))

Accidental Magic: 1 On Screen (Vanishing Glass), 3 Off Screen (page 23 in my edition, mentions of '3 prior incidents'.)

Potions Crafting: 2 'On Screen' (The Potions Master Chapter, and during the exams, we're told Harry made potions.)

Flying: 5 times (Flying Lessons/The Rememberall Incident, Oliver Wood trains Harry, 2 Quidditch matches, Catch The Key (third floor corridor obstacle))

Wand Uses: Now this is where it gets complex (Page numbers based on my edition)  
Page 64: Harry waves wands at Olivanders' to make sparks  
Page 99/100: We're told Harry takes classes (that we know use wands)  
Page 126: Harry 'swishes and flicks' trying to levitate a feather (but does not succeed in casting spell)  
Page 191: We're told Harry takes exams (Some of which we know require a wand)  
And of course Harry shove his wand up the Troll's Nose.


	5. The Very Future Cosplay Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Blue Spirit and Hermione (inexplicably cosplaying the Black Canary from Arrow) need to get to Buckingham Palace to save the Queen, but can't for some reason, apparate.

Tomas had been a London Cabbie for eighteen years. In his time he'd seen a lot of crazy stuff, dealt with some real strange customers too. He'd even driven nine different Mob Bosses during his tenure.

But July 8th 1996 took the cake.

There he'd been, sitting outside a pub, just waiting for a fare, when his back doors opened and two figures slid in. It was the wrong time of year for Halloween, and he hadn't heard about any fancy dress parties - Cabbies liked to gossip about such things, so as to prepare for the weirdness - but the duo were decked out like they were... well, Tomas wasn't sure what they were decked out to do.

One of the pair, a man he thought, was dressed in a baggy black uniform, like he thought he was a ninja or something, a frightening blue and white mask over his face. Tomas hoped the sword sheathed on his back was fake.

The woman, no doubt about her gender, was encased in a leather outfit he'd thought - at first glance - was a catsuit. Her mask was only a small domino thing, leaving her lower face and coiled brown hair uncovered.

"Buckingham Palace, please." The voice from beneath the mask was raspy, and carried a hint of danger, it sent chills skittering down Tomas's spine in a way those Mob Bosses never had.

"And do try to be quick about it." The woman's tone was cold, but not threatening. Tomas made record time to the Palace, praying the entire way they weren't after the Queen.


	6. Zuko Misuses the Cloak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko got a cloak of invisibility for Christmas, shenanigans ensue, and a re quickly paid for

Hermione stepped through the door into the Gryffindor common room.

"Hermione," her name was whispered in a familiar voice, she turned to it. There was no one there. The whispering continued, from another point in the room, the voice constantly moving.

"Hermione, Hermione, HERMIO- Oophf!" Her hand had stuck out, catching someone in what seemed like the gut.

"Hello Harry, learned to turn invisible have you?"

"Uuuuuhhhh, yes." His voice was thin, pained. She'd gotten him in the diaphragm then.

Good.

"And the point of the bad ghost impersonation?"

"The twins dared me."

"Regretting that now aren't you."

"Ugh," the sound of his body hitting the floor gave her an approximation of his location. She felt around with the tip of her foot, until she managed to nudge him, unwittingly moving his invisibility cloak while she did.

Now able to see his foot, she found the hem of the cloak and lifted it up, revealing Harry, curled in a foetal position.

"Won't be doing that again, will you?" He shook his head feebly. "Where did you even get this?"

"Chris'-mas pre-sent," the downed boy let out a little whimper as Hermione stared at him, unimpressed.


	7. The Orginal Mirror Out Take ft. Zuko's Request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko and Dumbledore... chat

**The original Mirror Scene** :

"Sir, you are the Supreme Mugwump aren't you? Why did you order the Wills of Lily and James Potter sealed?"

"Harry, my boy-"

"Please don't call me 'your boy,' it makes me feel uncomfortable."

"Very well, Harry, you are young and no doubt feel like you have all the answers in life-"

"Actually sir, I don't that's why I ask questions."

"Indeed; then you are far more mature than many your age, who believe they know everything. I am quite old, I still don't know everything, but I like to think my many years of experience has taught me enough. I over saw your parents wills, as one of the witnesses; after their deaths I ensured as much of their wills were as complete as possible, but there are things, were they to come to light, that would hurt you Harry."

"Shouldn't that be my decision?"

"I have left stipulations in place, once you have turned seventeen you may unseal the wills if you'd like, or leave it sealed and void."

"You won't unseal it before that?"

"I won't."

"Because you're trying to protect me?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Excuse me headmaster, I need to get to bed."

"Goodnight Harry. Oh and Harry?"

"Yes sir?"

"I must ask you not to come looking for the mirror again, it will be moved to a new home tomorrow."

"...Yes sir, goodnight."

 

* * *

 

 **Zuko's Request** :

"I see... Headmaster, I'd like to formally request: if you ever decide you need to protect me from something by hiding from me, you come talk to me about it first, and I'll decide if I don't need to know about it."


	8. Zuko Potter Portmanteau

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara and Hermione are laughing, Zuko knows he should be afraid

Zuko found the girls laughing in a corner of the library.

"Hermione, Katara; I think we're going to need to-" their laughter, which had ebbed at the sound of his voice resurged, the duo bending from the effort. "Why are you two laughing?"

"We're sorry, hang on," Hermione tried to control herself, fanning her face with her hand. On a stack of books, Katara pressed her hands over her face to calm herself.

Zuko waited for the duo to regain composure.

"So, what was that all about?"

"Sorry ZuPo, we were just-!" The girls slapped their hands over their mouths, looking at one another, aghast.

"ZuPo?" He raised an eyebrow and waited.

"Uuuummmm... we may have been talking about you... and the Other Harry, and you before you were Harry, and it got a little confusing on which person we meant so we... errmmm... dubbed you Zuko Potter and portmanteau'ed it to save on syllables..."

The girls looked contrite, but Zuko wasn't buying. He was even less inclined to believe they were sorry, when they started snickering again.

"Aaand we're done here; never mind, you two just, go back to what you were doing. And don't ever call me that again."

Hermione and Katara gave up trying not to laugh.

Zuko sighed heavily and left.


	9. Previously on Zuko Potter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In case you've forgotten anything important from Philosophical Rock, here's a quick recap:

“Zuko! Slightly emo, scar-faced kid with a great destiny done F^*#ed Up, we need you to fill in for him!”

“Okay.”

* * *

“Katara! You were holding on to Zuko's spirit too tight when we dragged him to the Spirit World for Plots Stuffs, now you're doomed to spend you life here until he gets back!... Also you're dying.”

“How do we fix this!?”

“Spirit Shenanigans.”

* * *

“You're a wizard Harry.”

“I'm a ninja with issues Hagrid.”

* * *

“I'm Hermione Granger, you are a bizarre individual. You are also now my new favourite puzzle.”

“I'm a traveller from another reality filling in for the protagonist.”

“So you're living a Harry Potter RPG?”

“Yeah, but they didn't let me read the summary or the game manual first. I have no idea what I'm doing...”

* * *

'Spirit Voices: in your head, telling you things'

“Ah-HA! The Plot!”

“...”

“Quirrell seem shifty to anyone else?”

* * *

Ninja Pranks

* * *

“Katara! You're here, and not just a vision in water here, but actually here-here!”

“I'm a Never Land Fairy now... also TinkerBell and Ruffio are strangely familiar to me...”


	10. Health Inquiry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco asks after 'Harry's' health, and Zuko asks himself a VERY important question. - Secretive Basement chapter 12

“Hey Potter!” Draco's voice rang out as Zuko entered the Great Hall for the first time since the Snowball Fight. Sighing quietly, Zuko looked over to Draco, and gave the boy a wave to show that he had hear the Slytherin's call.

“Is it true? I heard you fainted during the snowball fight!” The room grew quiet as they tried and failed to be subtle about listening in, to hear what 'Harry' was going to say.

'What would Uncle do!?' he thought desperately.

“Draco, that's so kind of you,” the entire room did a double take. “I did pass out, I don't know how much I'm legally allowed to talk about until after the trial, but during the attack from outside personnel, I smashed my head pretty hard, broke whole lot of ribs, you know, basic injuries when someone is trying to kill you. Actually I'd probably be dead if not for the emergency response from the older students and the expert care of Madam Pomfrey.”

Draco looked horrified, and Zuko knew he'd chosen the right path.

“ _But_ , I am almost completely fine now, and I'll be back to normal with in the next few days, so you _don't_ need to worry about my health. It was _very_ kind of you to enquire after my well being, but please, don't worry, I am alright now.”

Zuko turned to Hermione, who still had one arm entwined with one of his.

“Isn't he just _so_ kind and thoughtful?” He asked with as much sincerity as he could muster, ensure his voice carried without making it obvious.

“Oh, just the kindest,” Hermione said, and Zuko wondered if anyone else could tell how close she was to cracking up. “I always get the impression that he's just so _aloof_ , but then he goes and does this, and you realise how utterly thoughtful he is, just _so_ kind.”

Hermione put the back of her free hand against his cheek, “hmmm, you are looking a little pale though, so it's no wonder he was concerned, and you've been standing for a while, time to sit, perhaps? See about those blood sugar levels?”

“An excellent idea,” Zuko said, and gestured for her to lead on, giving Draco a delicate finger-wave as they moved further away from him.

Zuko had to bite his tongue lightly to stop himself from laughing and giving himself away. From the corner of his eye as he'd turned away, Zuko had seen Draco's face, and if he hadn't known any better, he would have said someone had struck him around the head with a fish.

Draco turned back to his table, floundering slightly, unsure where he had lost control of the conversation.


End file.
